I started keeping a journal a few months ago, mostly to get into the habit of regular writing so I’d have fodder to put on this blog. I’ve been surprised at just how cathartic it’s been, though–makes me wonder if half the benefit of a therapist isn’t just having the opportunity to vocalize or externalize your thoughts.
I like to think I’m a very open person, a personality trait which has become more pronounced over the past few years. I’m now basically Captain Overshare. What I’ve realized in the past few months of keeping this journal, though, is that although I’m more than willing to tell almost total strangers very personal stories or feelings, I hardly ever let out anything negative, even around friends.
I whine, of course, when I’m getting shut down by a hard route, or I’m injured or sick. But when I’m feeling actual emotional pain, I have a really hard time discussing that even with very close friends. In hard times, I’ve always relied on my family or partner to talk me through stuff. But being out here in Portland, distant from my family and single for the most part, a lot of stuff got bottled up inside without me really realizing it.
Anyway this isn’t to say I’m constantly crawling in my skin or curled up crying “I’M SO ALONE!” My lot in life is pretty damn good! But I don’t think anybody gets through their twenties without some angst, and I’ve found getting it inked in the journal to be a nice way to work through it.
That said, now that I’ve realized this I think I need to make an effort to be more open with my friends about some of this stuff because, hey, that’s what friends are for, right? I try to be there when my friends need it. So buddies: GET READY TO HEAR ALL ABOUT MY LIFE PROBLEMS! Deal with it.